Grief is a normal human response that aids in healing by working through the hurt caused by loss. But it's a process that can be painful on many levels. Due to this suffering, you may wonder if your emotions are typical or how long your sadness will stay.
The length of time it takes to go through the various stages of grief varies from person to person. After one or two years, most people feel better emotionally. But everyone has a unique version of this chronology. In addition, a person's grief tends to rise and fall in waves throughout time rather than diminishing steadily.
The experts who originally published these stages have since stated that the order in which the stages occur is not crucial and that some people may experience less than all. Those going through loss and those trying to aid them can learn more about sorrow's fluid nature. The six phases of sorrow are described in greater detail below.
The 6 Stages Of Grief
Shock
Grief often begins with shock and numbness, especially in the hours and days following a loss. Your mind may be clouded, you cannot understand what happened, and you won't have any say over how your body reacts. Some people, for instance, may be unable to control their tears, while others may be unable to cry.
Denial
You may initially find support in the denial stage of grief. You may feel like you are drowning in a sea of meaninglessness and that life has no purpose. You shut down, unable to process the news you've received.
You're in disbelief since your entire world has shifted instantly, and you're trying to figure out how to move forward. You might think the diagnosis is wrong if you were told you had a fatal disease; perhaps the lab made a mistake and mistakenly compared your blood samples to those of someone else.
Perhaps you'd like to believe that the individual who passed away was someone else after hearing the tragic news. Instead of experiencing actual truth, as you would in the acceptance stage, you will experience preferable reality in the denial stage.
Anger
Anger is a normal emotional reaction to the suffering produced by loss, and it can be felt against the deceased, oneself, others, or one's environment. As you try to work through your feelings, this response may make you feel even worse about yourself, leading to even more anger.
Acceptance of the reality of the loss ushers in the next stage of grieving, rage. You may be able to hide your underlying sadness behind a veneer of rage or resentment. Anger is a normal reaction to loss, whether directed at the deceased or inanimate objects.
As you reflect on the time you never spent with the deceased or the uncertainty of your future without them, you may ponder why this happened to you or why now. It can make you feel even more alone as you grieve.
Bargaining
When we can't find the words to describe our pain, we may make a deal with ourselves or a higher power like God or the cosmos to keep believing in a better future. It is referred to as bargaining, and it typically includes concessions you are willing to make in exchange for reuniting with the deceased and returning life to normal.
I'll do anything if you take away the pain is an example of the kind of thinking that constitutes bargaining. This phase of mourning might occur at any time. Guilt often comes hand in hand with it. This thinking can cause you to dwell on the past and lament the outcomes of specific events or circumstances.
Depression
At this point, our hearts are heavy with our sorrow over the loss. When we take our time and look at our loss, we enter the depression stage. At this point, instead of trying to suppress negative emotions, it's best to take action to deal with them.
One of the toughest aspects of the grieving process is depression. Be patient with yourself, but if you cannot get past this phase of mourning after a few months, it may be necessary to seek the help of a mental health professional or engage in grief therapy.
It's acceptable to feel quite low after a loss, but it's also crucial to recognize that clinical depression is distinct from mourning and requires specialized treatment from mental health specialists.
Acceptance
People sometimes mistakenly believe that after they have reached the acceptance stage of mourning, they will no longer feel the sorrow that their loss has caused. Yet, if you want to find acceptance in this situation, you'll have to embrace your new reality and learn to live with loss.
Accepting your loss is more productive than trying to alter or ignore the past. It doesn't mean you won't ever feel sad or have a bad day again; it just means you're starting to understand your new life.
It is very assuredly a moment of adjustment and modification. Days go well, then they don't, and then they do again. Just because you've reached this point doesn't imply you won't ever feel unhappy again. On the whole, though, the good days outnumber the bad ones.
Conclusion:
Regarding recovery, we all have our schedules to stick to. Healthy coping requires accepting this reality and not trying to "fix" your pain too soon. Recognizing the stages of mourning is a wonderful place to begin.
But, dealing with sadness daily can be challenging. There is no one way to grieve or a regular progression through the loss phases. By realizing your sadness, you will no longer need to explain yourself or others. What you feel is genuine to you.